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27 July 2006 @ 08:44 pm
Sometimes I think it would be best for everyone if I could just turn my brain off.  
So I'm flipping channels on tv right? And as I'm flipping I hear something about finding human remains in a woman's basement so I stop under the assumption that this could be something of interest. It's the on news apparently. I've obviously missed part of the story but the part I caught was "Police found six human skulls in the basement and a hand in a jar which the woman called Freddy. The woman claimed the hand was a gift from a medical examiner." Like I'm sorry WHAT? I'm assuming this woman is fairly close to me. I feel like the small amount of information I have is the worst possible amount. I know just enough to be totally frightened by this woman but not enough to be reassured that she's locked away in some mental ward and I'm safe. Because I DON'T WANT THAT TO BE MY HAND. Seriously? What the hell. A gift from a medical examiner? I just... I don't even know where to start with that. (Assuming it's true.) Wouldn't that be a warning signal if that was something someone wanted? (There are exceptions to this. One of my best friends has her dad's thumb in a jar. Which is totally different considering the circumstances but that's another story for another time.) What kind of medical examiner gives body parts away as gifts? Where did they get the hand? Do people agree to give away body parts upon their death? Does that count for the whole organ donation thing? Because as an organ donor I feel the need to state that upon my death if you aren't going to use my body parts to someone else's medical benefit I DO NOT want you to stick the remaining ones in jars and give them to psychopaths or anyone else for that matter. And while I usually enjoy naming inanimate objects I would rather you didn't name my body parts unless you really feel the need to. Because frankly it weirds me out.


This whole woman has hand in jar named Freddy thing totally reminds me of this substitute teacher we used to have sometimes in high school. I swear to fucking god I am not making this up you guys. This guy was short and bald and always carried around this black suitcase like bag with him. Always. I swear he was always wearing the same thing. A white button down shirt with a tie and khakis. This guy always had this creepy vibe about him. There was something just a little off. So one day he was filling in and a bunch of us were in study hall. One of the guys starts talking to him. Somehow they end up on the subject of what's in the bag. I SHIT YOU NOT the guy pulls out a glass jar WITH A DEAD SNAKE CURLED UP INSIDE IT. THEN HE PULLS OUT ANOTHER ONE WITH A DEAD TURTLE IN IT. A bunch of the guys thought it was like the coolest thing ever (Because they are freaks I tell you! Freaks!) and the rest of us were cringing trying not to FREAK THE HELL OUT. As the guys were looking at them the guy was all like "Oh be careful those are my babies." and then he tells us that he takes them everywhere with him. Everywhere. Which is why he always has that black bag with him. Because it's full of dead animals in formaldehyde that he is very attached to. I used to see him walking down the halls every once in a while. I would always get a little nauseated when I saw that black bag. I swear to god that guy was straight out of the X-Files. Except that the X-Files weren't real. That guy was very real.

I'm going to try to find more information on the hand in jar named Freddy lady.


ETA: I googled. Just when you think it couldn't get weirder it does. Apparently it was a goth stripper who lives in New Jersey who they found because they received a call about a man trying to kill himself with a hammer. Again I am not making this up. Which is good for me. Not so good for ironsgold. Irons be on the lookout. For what I don't know. Well I do but "A goth stripper who keeps calling that hand in the jar she's holding Freddy" makes me think you won't take me seriously. Really Irons. Be careful.

From the article: "Our main concern is finding out where the hand came from." I'm glad they have their priorities straight. I also learned that human skulls can be readily purchased on the internet. Awesome. SERIOUSLY. Where do they get human skulls?! Who sells human skulls on the internet?! How is that legally possible?! I know I really shouldn't be surprised because anything is possible on the internet. But I am. That is crazy. CRAZY. And they make it sound like they have loads of them for all the customers who are scrambling to get their hands on one. And the guy who lives with her? Was all "I think she has a friend who is a medical examiner or something who does autopsies". DUDE if I was living with a chick who had NAMED her SEVERED HAND in a jar I would be damn sure I knew EXACTLY where she got it from. I would have made her give me references and shit. That guy must be FUCKING CRAZY. And it said the cops are there all the time and there was a huge list of reasons. One for holding another exotic dancer there against her will with SWORDS and one for a missing person believed to be there but who was not. OR WERE THEY? FREDDY?! I mean are you fucking kidding me?! Christ!
 
 
Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Fiona Apple - A Mistake
 
 
 
melodinousmelodinous on July 28th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
Because as an organ donor I feel the need to state that upon my death if you aren't going to use my body parts to someone else's medical benefit I DO NOT want you to stick the remaining ones in jars and give them to psychopaths or anyone else for that matter. I didn't realize how much I've missed you until this moment. And I'm now totally afraid that I'll be in some kind of accident, and as an organ donor, parts of my body will be put in jars and handed out to random crazies.

Speaking of buying skulls, in college for 2 weeks I was in a class on the human skeleton, and to demonstrate the difference between a male and female pelvis, the professor showed us a baby skull and how it didn't fit through the male one, and then didn't really fit through the female one either, but how it stretched to fit (which totally made me not want to have kids), then finished it all by saying, "This isn't a real baby skull, it's just a replica. Real ones are really expensive."

And on a brighter note, did you see this? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5212498.stm
pandora: Lloyd Make Outpandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 03:22 am (UTC)
Mel! Hi! I like that we're bonding over morbid paranoia. Seriously if what that woman claims is true it's totally possible. Actually it probably doesn't even have to be true. I mean it takes a certain kind of person to be a medical examiner in the first place. (Not that I'm stereotyping people I just saying.) And it all really hinges on whether or not that person has a respect for the dead. I don't think its out of the realm of possibility for one of those people not to. I think more likely than not there is someone out there who has done it at least once. God I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes. I really do.

Oh my god. That's actually kind of funny. But not really. Are you saying that female BONES stretch when you give birth? Because that is a whole new level of pain I can't even imagine.

Dude Kiefer's voice on The Simpsons? That is going to be totally sweet and you know kick ASS.
ora_waiora_wai on July 28th, 2006 10:12 am (UTC)
They kind of slightly dislocate. Like come appart from the joints a little.
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 10:19 am (UTC)
You know every time I think child birth couldn't be any worse someone tells me something new and even more horrific. I'm really starting to fully understand why it has the reputation as the worst thing you could ever possibly experience. Miracle of life my ass.
warden96: WTF?warden96 on July 28th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
Except that the X-Files weren't real.

They weren't?
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
I do not see how you think it is a good idea to play with my mind in my current mental state. And if you tell me there were episodes of the X-Files that were based on true events I will stab you. There are some things I just do not ever need to know.
Polter-Cow: Live fastspectralbovine on July 28th, 2006 06:15 am (UTC)
I heard about that skull lady on the radio! They didn't mention the hand named Freddy, though.
pandora: Lloyd Make Outpandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 06:18 am (UTC)
Seriously! This is the most bizarre thing I've heard in a while.
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 06:26 am (UTC)
AND I didn't help matters because I just watched the trailer for The Black Dahlia (Which was really creepy. Especially since it's based on an actual murder. It looks awesome though.) and totally freaked myself out. Now I have to keep looking behind me every so often to make sure some crazy isn't coming to get me. Because if there was my turning around to look at them would totally make everything better. Right?
InvalidCookiessinca on July 28th, 2006 03:58 pm (UTC)
OH crap - the trailer is out already? I need to read that book with quickness.
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 29th, 2006 08:24 am (UTC)
Well out on Yahoo movies. I don't think it's on tv or anything yet. You're safe for now.
ironsgoldironsgold on July 28th, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)
Oh wonderful! As if I didn't already have enough to worry about! First bears, now this. Can it get any better? And now mel is all freaked out, and you know how long it takes to talk her down! Good thing raligh is a hostage negotiator!

*Did you hear that?!*
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 06:51 am (UTC)
I was going with the boy scouts "be prepared" theory! I wonder if they have any thoughts on bears. A lot of good raligh will do us! What good is a MIA hostage negotiator?

Did you click the link? They had a picture of her mug shot! (I just typed shit there. I almost left it but I can't bring myself to leave a crude typo. I blame my mother. I'm still giggling though.) I can't believe this isn't all over the news there.

*YES!*
*turns around again*
ironsgoldironsgold on July 28th, 2006 07:26 am (UTC)
Oh it's all over the news! It will probably be on 20/20 soon, great ratings grabber! Good thing I have my attack Golden Retrievers;)!

"What good is a MIA hostage negotiator?"
To talk mel down from her panic attack? It's a stretch, I know, but I just found out about raligh's secret hostage negotiator dream, and wanted to work it in somehow. You know how....

*What WAS THAT??!*
pandora: Epandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
Oooh really? I am so there. Clearly I am a masochist.

That's good to know. I bet I can give her some really good practice.

You cannot possibly fathom the web of fear I have created in my head until you watch this. I was okay until that last shot. Which was unbelievably creepy and wormed itself into my brain.

*I can't stop turning around!*
melodinous: kiefermelodinous on July 28th, 2006 02:02 pm (UTC)
It's okay, I just took a sharpie and blacked out the organ donor part, I don't care if I liked having a little pink heart on my license, I don't want my hands kept in jars. Or my feet.

Besides, my sister and I are taking a trip to the New Hampshire State Liquor Store today. Yes, that's right, driving to another state to go to a gigantic liquor store. You have to love my family. But it's all for good reason, her boss is sending her to get wine for something, and I'm getting grape flavored vodka! Also cherry for my friend who likes to drink red bull with vodka but wishes they had cherry flavored red bull, my solution was simple. Cherry flavored vodka instead.

So by tonight I'll be too drunk to worry about people keeping parts of me in jars or selling my bones on ebay. Oh jesus, I hadn't thought about people selling my bones before right now.
pandora: Lloyd Make Outpandora_17 on July 29th, 2006 08:43 am (UTC)
I don't want to burst your bubble or anything but don't they have it on file? I think you would have to deregister or something. Beause when I moved states (twice!) I NEVER told them I was an organ donor and each time? It was on my license. (Okay I might have becasue I have the worst memory ever but I don't remember checking anything that said organ donor and you'd think that would be something I'd remember.)

You know this all has me wondering when exactly they actually do autopsies. Beause usually they do it before the funeral so really you could just ask your family members to check and make sure you're all there. They'd be emotionally scarred but it's for a good cause. Except in my case where I don't want a funeral. So as usual I'm screwed.

I have never heard of a state liquor store. And I love that it's a family outing. I want fruity alcohol too.

I'm amused yet still frightened. And I worry that I've refrightened you but it's okay because by the time you read this you'll be drunk. Actually you're probably sleeping off a hangover and then you'll come on the computer to find this. I am a horrible person. If that happens I'm sorry in advance!
ralighr_a_l_i_g_h on July 29th, 2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
HA! Even though Pandora failed to activate the bat-signal, my instincts were so strong, I was top of this problem already! Ask Mel, I contacted her via IM even before she made her early-morning liquor run. 'Cause I am just THAT good!

(Oh, and I could totally talk Mel down - have you forgotten that I'm her favorite big sis?)
ora_waiora_wai on July 28th, 2006 10:18 am (UTC)
I think I would find it more distrubing if she didn't name it. Because then it would be "It" or "the hand" which I find more freaky.

But I've also done anatomy classes and held brains, legs, arms, etc (I've touched kindeys that were still inside a body, it was surreal). My flatmate brought home a skull for her anatomy class and used to carry it around in a little box. We are weird people.

I'm fairly certain that they couldn't just give your hand away. Even when you are an organ donor and Next of Kin has said that they agree, they still have to sign forms for what parts they can harvest. So individula ones for eyes (corneas), heart/lungs/kindeys/liver, and skin. Just make sure you NOK knows that they don't want you to be given away.
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 28th, 2006 10:35 am (UTC)
See I feel that the fact that she named it disturbing because it makes me think she had a playful relationship with it. Like it was a toy or a friend or something.

See that doesn't freak me out. Although I don't think I could ever disassociate the fact that was a person enough to be able to stick my hand inside them and not be emotionally scarred from it. I don't know maybe it has something to do with the fact that I think if they can disassociate themselves from it enough to think of a person's body part as a toy or have some sort of bizarre relationship with it that they could possibly bring themselves to feel the same way about a living person. And that is a very scary thought. Does that make sense? I don't know if I explained that very well.

Yeah I'm not so worried about them being able to as I am that someone would just do it anyway. And really would anyone notice? Or would they say anything? There could be some sort of random body part black market or something. There are people who would do anything for the right amount of money. Wow. I am seriously paranoid tonight.
ankaiankai on July 28th, 2006 03:45 pm (UTC)
Well, that's disturbing.
pandora: The Shining Twinspandora_17 on July 29th, 2006 08:44 am (UTC)
Yes. Yes it is.
InvalidCookies: hp-just one of those dayssinca on July 28th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
See, now I'M scared. ALL THE WAY OUT HERE!
pandora: Epandora_17 on July 29th, 2006 09:28 am (UTC)
Everyone knows California has the most crazies! Don't let your guard down! It could SAVE YOUR LIFE.

(I'm sorry. I'm a little wound up. Your icon is adorable. It's actually making me feel better. Apparently the cure for scared is adorable. Who knew?)

rosiecatupanashad on July 28th, 2006 07:59 pm (UTC)
I know how you feel because I saw this documentary on the BTK killer on A&E a few months ago, and I don't usually watch those things because they scare the shit out of me, but I was flipping past it and I got sucked in in that way that horror can suck you in, and I was so paranoid after I saw it even though he's IN JAIL. I was still freaked out because if there is one BTK guy, there can be more just like him. People are so fucking twisted. And your substitute teacher sounds really scary.
pandora: Epandora_17 on July 29th, 2006 09:23 am (UTC)
I watch those EVERY TIME THEY'RE ON. The horror does! It sucks you in! The BTK one was scary in it's own right because the guy was an upstanding memeber of society (didn't he even coach a kid's soccer team?) AND he GOT AWAY WITH IT for 20 YEARS. The only reason he was caught was because he WANTED RECOGNITIION for what he'd done. (AHH!)

I totally just had to look behind me because I'm freaking myself out all over again! That guy set off my stay as far away from this person as possible alarm. That alarm does not go off very often. I don't think I described him well enough. The shirts he wore were always short sleeved. For some reason that really bothered me. And he always talked with this soft emotionless voice. Except for the time with the jars. He was gazing at them adoringly and you could hear it in his voice. He got like 100 times creepier very fast. I'm glad I'm on the other side of the country now.

This is probably going to really freak you out because it did me. Recently I read something about how a murderer (It might have been Ted Bundy. I honestly can't remember now.) alledgedly helped police solve other cases during his time in prison and told police that serial killers sometimes run into each other along the way (My mind it reels.) and that the really good ones? Are not the ones who get caught. My mom and I were talking about the validity of this and she brought up how many people still go missing each year. Which made me feel a little sick. Oh crap. My mind is on full freak out mode again.